Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize