i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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