Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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