I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
