I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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