my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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