I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
