I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
