I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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