well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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