Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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