Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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