Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
