i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
