yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
