its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
