Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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