her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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