i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
