did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
