no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
