god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
