During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
