Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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