I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
