my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
