My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
