did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
