Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
