i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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