I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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