oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
