why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
