I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
