And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
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