what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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