i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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