ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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