eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
