I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
