How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
