if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
