I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
