dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
