fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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