We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
should my penis look like a turkey
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
