im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
