I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
