Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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