The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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