Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
