Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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