dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
