What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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