i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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