i think my tv is drunk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
