see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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