Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
