Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
