fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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