haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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