He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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