I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
