So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize