ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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