I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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