Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
