Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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