I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
