Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize