its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
